Living Fearless: The Invitation to Remain in Him

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There’s a quiet unraveling happening in me.

Not loud. Not dramatic. But steady. Deep. True.

And it’s not leading me back to myself as much as it’s drawing me deeper into something greater—

Jesus’ invitation to remain in Him…and to see myself through His plans and purposes.

Recently, I’ve been reading Living Fearless by Jamie Winship, while also stepping into deeper coaching conversations where I’m inviting Jesus directly into my thoughts, my stories, and the places I didn’t realize I was still striving.

What I’m discovering is both simple… and life-changing.

A Personal Note on This Journey

Before I go any further, I want to gently clarify something—especially for those of you who are part of my coaching world.

This experience I’m sharing was not about holding space for my clients or processing anything related to our work together.

This was personal.

This was me stepping into the very same work I invite others into—allowing Jesus to meet me in my own thoughts, my own patterns, and my own relationships with the people I love and live with every day.

I believe this is part of the sacred responsibility of coaching:

To go first.

To be willing to see our own hearts.

To surrender our own false identities.

Not from a place of perfection…but from a place of humility and truth.

Because I never want to offer something I’m not actively living.

So what I’m sharing here isn’t theory.

It’s something I’m walking out—in real time, in real relationships, in real moments where old patterns try to resurface.

And in that space…Jesus is meeting me there.

The Identity I Oftentimes Find Myself Living From

For so long, I didn’t realize how much of my life was being lived from a place of false identity.

The fixer.

The manager.

The one responsible for everyone else’s emotions.

The one who needed to hold everything together.

It began early—so quietly I didn’t even notice it forming.

A need to be acceptable.

A need to create control in a life that felt unpredictable.

In an alcoholic home, children often learn to become the fixer…the one who smooths things over…the one who carries what was never theirs to carry.

And somewhere along the way—even love became something I strived to get right.

During a recent coaching session, I began to see this more clearly—how I’ve carried a subtle belief that it’s my job to manage, smooth, and make things right, especially within my own home, especially when God is not asking me to step in and manage others....

That's not who I’m called to be.

And more importantly…that’s not how Jesus is asking me to live. He calls me His Child, Daughter.

Inviting Jesus Into the Story

What’s been shifting everything is this:

Instead of trying to fix my thoughts…Instead of analyzing every feeling… right away,

I’m learning to pause and invite Jesus into the moment.

“Jesus, what’s true here?”

“Jesus, what do You want me to see?”

“Jesus, how are You inviting me to remain in You right now?”

And what I’m discovering is this—

He’s not bringing correction with pressure.

He’s bringing truth with peace.

Remaining, Not Striving

For years, I thought abiding meant trying harder.

More discipline.

More effort.

More getting it right.

But now I’m seeing something different.

Remaining in Him is not something I achieve.

It’s something I respond to. And as my wise friend and coach said back to me from my journaling notes....it's something I feel. Abiding is felt deep within like a warm hug from the father or the sun soaking into my skin. I feel a deep connection to Jesus. Abide In Me and I in You is more than a cute bible study verse. It is something to be experienced.

It’s an invitation.

In the middle of real life—family tension, conversations, emotions—He’s always inviting me back.

Not to perform.

Not to fix.

But to remain.

Even when I’m distracted.

Even when I don’t feel fully present.

I can still respond to that invitation.

And that realization has been incredibly freeing.

Letting Go of the Need to Fix

One of the biggest breakthroughs for me has been recognizing this:

Other people’s struggles are not mine to carry. They are an invitation to have compassion and shape how I pray for others.

That doesn’t mean I stop loving.

It means I trust Jesus with their story…and remain with Him in mine.

I’m learning to release the need to fix, manage, or control outcomes—and instead respond from a place of peace, truth, and love.

Sometimes that looks like saying less.

Sometimes it looks like setting boundaries.

Sometimes it looks like simply being present without taking ownership.

And that has been deeply freeing.

Hearing His Voice More Clearly

As I slow down and practice this daily—inviting Jesus in, surrendering false identities, and responding to His invitation to remain—I’m noticing something beautiful:

I’m hearing Him more clearly.

Not in big, dramatic ways.

But in gentle truth.

“Remain in Me.”

“You’re Mine.”

“You don’t have to strive.”

Living Fearless

I’m learning that living fearless doesn’t mean fear disappears.

It means this:

I trust the One I’m remaining in.

So even when fear shows up…it doesn’t get to lead.

An Invitation

If you’ve been feeling the weight of trying to be everything for everyone…If you’ve been striving to get it right…If you’ve been carrying what was never yours to hold…

Pause.

Breathe.

And listen.

Jesus is inviting you too.

Not to try harder.

Not to fix yourself.

But to remain in Him

and discover what it looks like to live from His truth, His peace, and His purpose.

Reflection

Where might Jesus be inviting you to remain in Him today?

And what would it look like to respond to that invitation?

This weeks work came out of my time spent in the scriptrues with Jesus.

John 15:1-5 NKJV

I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit. You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you. Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, niether can you, unless you abide in Me. I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.

Blessings!

Coach Shel

Rhythms of Grace Life Coaching