When the Season Doesn’t Feel Merry and Bright

When We are not feeling that Christmas Joy

There are seasons when the world tells us to sparkle—to gather, to celebrate, to feel grateful and full.

But sometimes the heart doesn’t match the music.

Sometimes this season feels empty.

Marked by disappointment, loss, unmet expectations, or pain that hasn’t loosened its grip. And instead of joy, what rises is weariness. Instead of celebration, a quiet ache.

If this is you, you are not failing the season.You are living honestly within it.

God does not require cheerfulness from wounded hearts.

He does not rush grief, cover sorrow, or ask us to pretend our way into peace. Instead, He meets us exactly where we are—with presence, not pressure.

And sometimes, it is in these very seasons—the ones that feel anything but merry and bright—that God’s refining work is most tender.

Not a harsh fire.

Not a punishing one.

But a refining that invites us to stay close… to say yes even when life feels painfully uncertain.

Yes to walking with Him when answers are few.

Yes to letting Him hold what we cannot fix.

Yes to remaining when everything in us wants relief or escape.

This is the rhythm of grace:

not striving for joy, but staying present with God until joy is restored.

For Those Waiting in the Refiner’s Fire

When this Christmas season doesn’t feel merry or bright,

you may feel as though you are waiting—waiting for relief,

waiting for clarity,

waiting for something to ease the ache you carry.

Scripture speaks tenderly to those places.

In Revelation, Jesus offers counsel not to the unfaithful, but to the weary—those who have tried to live from their own strength and have found themselves empty. He says,

“I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire…” (Revelation 3:18)

This is not a command to strive, but an invitation to come close.

To “buy gold” in the fire does not mean producing something through effort. It means receiving what only Christ can give while we remain with Him in the heat of the season. The fire reveals—not to shame us—but to refine what is real, lasting, and rooted in love.

For those waiting in the refiner’s fire this Christmas, the invitation is not to pretend joy, but to stay. To say yes again—quietly, honestly—to the God who draws near in the waiting.

He is not asking you to hurry your healing.

He is not disappointed in your weariness.

He is with you, even here.

A Simple Breath Prayer

Before you continue, pause for a moment and breathe.

A breath prayer is a simple way of praying that pairs your breathing with short phrases of truth. It helps calm the body, steady the mind, and gently return your awareness to God’s presence—especially when words feel hard to find.

Try this slowly, a few times:

Inhale: God, You are here.

Exhale: I say yes to You.

There is no need to force emotion or understanding.

This prayer is simply a way of consenting to God’s nearness, right where you are.

My Own Refining Fire

The fire of refinement doesn’t come wrapped in ease.

It often arrives in the quiet hours—when fear feels close,

when worry whispers,

How will I ever handle this, Lord?

And yet… even here, grace comes.

Not rushed.

Not demanding.

But present.

Soft. Steady. Certain.

“My love, apart from Me you can do nothing.

But with Me—mountains will move.”

This is not a rebuke.

It is an invitation into rhythm.

Into relationship.

Into walking instead of striving.

Journaling Prompt

When fear and worry rise, what are the words I most often hear in my mind?

What might God be gently whispering instead as He walks beside me?

Fear has always been quick to arrive in seasons of trial.

It lingers like a shadow, eager to cling.

But I am learning that fear does not get the final word—presence does.

In the refining fire, God is not standing at a distance, watching me endure.

He is with me—burning away old patterns not through force, but through love.

The fragments of who I was without Him—self-protection, striving, control—are loosened as I remain near.

Not so I can shine in my own strength,

but so His light can move through me freely.

Journaling Prompt

What old patterns, beliefs, or self-protections do I sense God gently releasing in this season?

What might it look like to let them go without rushing the process?

Faith is not always formed in comfort.

But neither is it forged through pressure.

Faith grows in presence.

It deepens as trust takes root—moment by moment, step by step—as God shows up and does what only He can do.

Again and again, He reminds me:“Cast your cares on Me, for I care for you.”

Not once.

But daily.

Rhythmically.

Grace upon grace.

Journaling Prompt

Where have I seen God show up in my past—quietly or miraculously?

How can remembering His faithfulness steady me today?

I care for you.

Enough to use everything—every struggle, every furnace, every wilderness—not to harm me,but to draw me closer.

So I am learning to bow low in these trials,

not as an act of resignation,

but of rest.

Here, in the fire, I choose to buy gold—not through striving,

but through staying.

Staying present.

Staying honest.

Staying open.

I choose to see the heat as holy—not because it is easy,

but because God is here.

Journaling Prompt

What does “buying gold in the fire” look like in my everyday life right now?

How can I meet today’s challenges with presence instead of pressure?

I am learning to stop calling battles “burdens”and start seeing them as refinement wrapped in grace.

I long to sit with God in the furnace—not scorched by fear,

but softened by love.

For it is here,

in the slow, sacred work of remaining,

that the treasure of transformation is found.

✨ Closing Prayer

Lord,

refine me—not through force,

but through Your faithful presence.

When fear feels closer than faith,

remind me that You are nearer still.

Burn away what no longer serves love,

and shape me—gently—into a vessel of grace,

fit for Your glory and ready for every good work.

I choose to buy gold in the fire.

I choose to remain with You.

I trust You to make me radiant in Your time.

Amen.

Shel Dammann

Rhythms of Grace Life Coaching