🌿 You Belong in Rooms of Grace

There are seasons when the ache of not belonging can feel louder than anything else.

When you walk into a room and wonder if anyone really sees you.

When you talk, and no one seems to understand what you mean.

When your heart whispers, You’re on the outside again.

I know that feeling well.

I’ve spent much of my life believing that lie — that I was the outsider. That other people were the ones who fit, who connected easily, who belonged. I spent years wandering through a desert of loneliness and isolation. Depression convinced me that I didn’t matter, that I was the extra piece no one quite knew what to do with.

Even as a Christian — even working in ministry, surrounded by people — I could be in a room of thousands and still feelthe sting of disconnection. It wasn’t that God had left me; it was that the old lie still had roots in my heart.

💭 A Corner of Safety

It doesn’t happen as often anymore, but for years I felt deeply uncomfortable in group settings. I’d often find myself sitting in a corner of the room, feeling alone. Looking back, I realize I positioned myself there.

The corner felt safe. Pulling away from others gave me a sense of control over the rejection I feared might come.

That feeling of aloneness came from a deep place of vulnerability. I’ve always considered myself unique—a little different in how I think, feel, and see the world. But that uniqueness often left me misunderstood. So I’d tuck myself away in a small corner of comfort, convincing myself I was fine there.

Through time, and God’s patient love, I’ve learned how to overcome that insecurity. I can start conversations now. I can connect and be present. But the feeling—of being different, misunderstood—still lingers at times.

I’ve also learned something profound: the message “You’re unique” is a beautiful truth, but when left on its own—without being rooted in my identity in Christ—it can lead to isolation instead of connection.

The good news is that God created me uniquely, and He created others uniquely too. We are not so different after all. We are, in fact, deeply connected—all made in His image, all reflections of His heart.

🛝 A Lesson at the Park

Recently, while taking my granddaughters to the park, I watched this truth come alive.A woman was there with her three children, and as my granddaughter tried to join their play, the youngest child quickly told her she wasn’t invited. They were waiting for another friend — there was “no room” for an outsider.

My granddaughter didn’t let that stop her. She continued to play nearby, smiling and running with joy, content to enjoy the moment even without being “included.” When their friend arrived, the little group and their mothers gathered together in lively conversation. And as I stood on the edge of the playground, I felt something stir inside me — that old, familiar feeling of not belonging.

I wanted to defend my granddaughter, to speak up for kindness and inclusion. But beneath that, I felt my own sting of rejection — that echo from childhood that says, you’re not part of this either.

As the mothers chatted and didn’t make eye contact or say hello, I quietly told myself, just be still and notice.

Because here’s what I’ve learned: lies from the enemy often feel real, but that doesn’t make them true.

I could have walked over and introduced myself. I could have smiled, or joined the conversation.

The truth was, I wasn’t being rejected — I was simply believing an old story that didn’t belong to me anymore.

And as I watched my granddaughter continue to play freely, I realized she was teaching me something powerful. She wasn’t hurt or offended by the exclusion. She simply played anyway. Her joy wasn’t dependent on the approval of others. She knew she belonged because she never questioned her place in the world.

That moment was holy ground. A lesson wrapped in childlike innocence:Belonging is not something we earn — it’s something we carry inside when we know Whose we are.

💛 Learning to Belong

Those tender moments remind me that while I’ve learned to manage old insecurities, the feelings still arise from time to time — and that’s okay.

When they do, I bring them to Father God, asking Him to steady my heart and remind me of His love and design.

I can choose to say hello.I can choose to engage or stay quiet without shame.I can choose to enjoy the moment for what it is, rather than what it used to represent.

Most importantly, I can let these moments cultivate empathy — for others who still sit in their own corners of fear, quietly hoping to be noticed. And when I meet them, I can remind them of what is eternally true:

We are His image bearers.We are loved at all times by Him.We belong.

🌷 The Greater Room

Through trauma therapy, coaching, and God’s grace, I’ve learned to root out lies and rebuild rooms of truth. And Scripture tells us that even greater rooms are being prepared — by Jesus Himself:

“Don’t let this rattle you. You trust God, don’t you? Trust me. There is plenty of room for you in my Father’s home... I’m on my way to get a room ready for you.”— John 14:1–2 (MSG)

Jesus is planning, preparing, and waiting for our arrival into the ultimate place of love and healing.I was bought at a great price.I have been redeemed.I have a place in the Kingdom and the family of God.

So when loneliness sneaks in, I remember: it’s not a threat anymore. It’s a cue — to turn toward the One who never leaves or forsakes me, the One who is coming back for me.

And friend, He’s done the same for you.

🕊 Reflection

When you feel out of place, remember: Jesus isn’t only preparing eternity; He’s preparing you for eternity.

You are seen, known, and loved.

Your belonging isn’t dependent on being understood—it’s anchored in being redeemed.

💛 Lord, thank You for creating me uniquely and with purpose. When the old feelings rise up, remind me that I am safe, known, and loved in You. Help me carry that truth into every room I enter — because wherever You are, I belong.

Written by Shel Dammann

Rhythms of Grace Life Coaching 2025

Rooted in Truth. Transformed by Grace