When French Fries Become Thieves of the Soul (And When They’re Just Fries)

Shel Dammann
Jul 2
4 min read

A soulful reflection on food, memory, and healing. Discover how French fries—and our beliefs about them—can point us toward deeper self-love, presence, and peace.

I was working with a client recently who noticed a little thief in her day: a bite here, a lick there, a few fries snuck off her child’s plate. We explored those moments—those tiny, unnoticed choices that seem innocent enough but can leave us wondering:

Are we robbing ourselves of our goals? Or…Are these little thieves actually messengers in disguise?

The truth is, not all French fries are created equal.

On a recent trip to Ireland, I tasted fries that were completely different from the ones we’re used to here in the States. They were natural, unprocessed, fried in real fats, and they lacked the chemical-laced addictiveness of American fries. I was surprised to find I didn’t even want them. They simply didn’t hold the same pull.

That experience left me wondering: Do I even need a French fry? Or is it the story I’ve been telling myself that can make us feel powerless around them?

The Story Beneath the Fry

We all carry narratives. Some of them whisper things like:

“I can’t stop at one.”
“If I start, I won’t stop.”
“I always lose control with fries.”

But are those thoughts truth… or just well-rehearsed scripts?

Yes, there are physiological reasons for cravings. Brain chemistry and blood sugar imbalances are real. But there’s another chemistry at play too—the chemistry of emotion.

Underneath the craving might be:

An overwhelmed nervous system
Unprocessed stress
A longing for comfort or play or connection

When we pause to slow down and listen, we begin to realize:We are not our stress.We are not our emotions.They are cues, not commands.

They are powerful storytellers, nudging us to pay attention.

From “I Can’t Have Just One” to “What Do I Really Need?”

One of the tools I often share with clients is the 4 N’s:

Notice – Become aware of what’s happening without judgment.
Normalize – Understand that these urges are human and expected.
Neutralize – Remove the drama. It’s just a fry. It’s not a crime.
Next Best Thought – What thought can you try on instead? What brings peace?

Instead of wrestling the craving to the ground, we can welcome it to the table, hug the thief, and ask, “What are you trying to tell me?”

Sometimes, the French fry isn’t about food at all.Sometimes, it’s about needing:

Rest
Play
Permission
Love

From Dairy Treats to Waffle Fry Wisdom

I couldn’t help but reminisce about my high school job at the local dairy treat (though I can’t even remember the name of that place now!). I remember sitting with my best friend who worked the same shift as me, dragging our fries through ice cream, delighting in the salty-sweet harmony.

And just last week, I watched one of my childcare kiddos do the same thing at Chick-fil-A. She dipped her waffle fries in her ice cream cone, laughed with delight, then took bites of chicken like a seasoned foodie. It was a picture of joy.

Not guilt. Not shame. Just presence.

And it made me think about my client again.She would have passed up the fries. Why?Because that thought—“I can’t have just one”—was on repeat in her brain.

But what if she could?

What if the invitation isn’t about self-denial, but self-discovery?

What if the real issue isn’t the French fry……but the unmet need beneath it?

Rhythms of Summer, Rhythms of Grace

In my Rhythms of Grace coaching, we explore how to invite in peace—especially around food.Not all cravings are bad.Not all indulgences are sin.And not all thoughts are true.

Sometimes, the thief isn’t a bite of food.It’s the belief that we are broken, that we have no control, that we’re failing because we want a fry.

But what if we’re not failing?What if we’re being called back into presence, play, and partnership with God?

The next time you find yourself reaching for a fry, try asking:

What’s really going on inside me?
What am I believing right now?
What do I actually need?

And if you still want the fry, enjoy it with grace.Drag it through your ice cream if you must.Let it be a moment of delight, not defeat.

Journal Prompts:

What story do I believe about myself when I eat from reaction instead of relationship?
What emotion or unmet need might be hiding underneath my desire to eat quickly or impulsively?
What could I discover if I paused to slow down before taking the bite?
How can I respond to my body’s signals with compassion instead of control?
Where might God be inviting me into deeper connection—with Him, with myself, or with my body?

About the Four N’s Framework: The “Four N’s”—Notice, Normalize, Neutralize, and Next Best Thought—are inspired by tools used in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). ACT teaches us to observe our thoughts without judgment, create distance from unhelpful patterns, and choose responses aligned with our values. These steps help us move from automatic reactions to intentional, grace-filled action.